So here’s the deal, folks. I’m gonna go ahead and call this the second day, because it’s technically the second time I’ve woken up in the past…days. Time is weird on the plane, especially when there’s a huge delay between flights. I left the house at 3 AM EST, and caught the flight to Toronto from Boston at around 6:15 AM EST. Now, my own concept of time told me that it was around 8 in the morning when I reached Canada, but I’m not sure how time works in that country so I could be terribly wrong. Case-in-point, I asked one of those loveable Canucks if he had the time, and he said “On my mantle, eh.” Sarcasm? Hopefully. Communication breakdown between English speakers? More likely. Regardless.
So I was in Canada from around 8 in the morning to 6 in the evening after a delay with the flight. It was one of those delays where we spent 30 more minutes than necessary on the plane before the pilot came over the intercom to tell us that there was something wrong with their navigation system, and that it would have to be fixed. Luckily, we all thought, he said it could be fixed with us all still on the plane, and we could take off once it was repaired. Well, fifteen minutes turned to a half hour, and that slowly and painfully became an hour, and finally that rolled over into about an hour and a half when the pilot came on and said, and I quote, “We just can’t do it,” so we had to “deplane immediately,” and catch a flight at 6:30 that day. Couple things.
One: I really don’t mind delays at airports. With my track record, I’m surprised all of my flights don’t take forty hours. Now, that being said, I have catalogued a fairly substantial list of reasons why there have been delays in my flights, and the mishap with Air Canada flight 5 non-stop to Tokyo Haneda airport falls into that glorious category of, “We just didn’t check the plane before we got in it.” I think Seinfeld has a bit about forgetting the keys to the plane, and that’s basically what this feels like. But again! Things like this are to be expected when you travel. Although I still find it hilarious that at no point did anyone on the plane or in the airport ask why the navigation system, i.e. the thing that tells you where you’re going in the fucking SKY, was not like…the third thing checked on the plane before it was working. Keys, gas, GPS. Let’s go, folks.
Second: Delays suck, especially when they force you to stay on the plane. I’ve flown enough and had enough problems to know that if the pilot comes on the speaker and says the words, “We seem to be having trouble with blank,” then blank is going to be stopping the flight. Every time. Every. Time. I’ve never been on a flight where the landing gear was having some trouble, and then after 90 minutes of forced existential contemplation in the most ergonomically impossible chairs did the pilot come back on and say, “Good news, folks. Our people have fixed every problem and we’re good to go without issue.” So I knew the plane wasn’t going to be taking off, but they had us sit there for so long. I appreciate their optimism, I really do, but the statistics don’t lie. There should be a cut-off time, like if you’re waiting for thirty minutes and the problem still isn’t fixed, you should be able to get off the plane and find a comfortable seat in the terminal for the no doubt six hour wait that will follow. But whatever! No trouble, really. I mean I’m either sitting in Toronto or sitting on a thirteen hour flight, and I’m not exactly eager to be trapped in the upper limits of the troposphere.
Third: Guys, he literally said “We just can’t do it.” We just can’t do it? Can’t you flower up the language a little bit before coming over the intercom and spewing unfiltered depression at us like that? “It’s just not gonna happen, folks. I wish things had been different.” That just tickled me, I dunno.
But as I am typing this in Haneda airport, I certainly made it to Japan. I did miss my connecting flight to Osaka last night, but thanks to my mother’s valiant efforts, I was able to stay in a rather nice hotel. My head hit the pillow and I soaked up that five hours like nobody’s business, folks.
One thing Air Canada did really well was make up for the delay in the flight. Having flown Southwest or whatever rinky-dink airline flies out of Ithaca airport, it was absolutely unexpected when I got help finding a new flight and a paid taxi to my hotel by the good folks at Air Canada. Granted, I had to wait in line for an hour and a half to get this done, but still. It was either that or have no flight at all, right?
So I spent a lot of time in the air and at airports, but I was able to find a nice bed at the end of it. And here I sit, enjoying the incredibly fruits of Japanese vending machines while listening to David Bowie and waiting to head over to Osaka. Things are good, man.
Oh, I also saw Mt. Fuji on the drive back to the airport. I had seen it on my trip to Nagoya on the bullet train, but man. It really is one of those things that takes your breath away. The shuttle driver and I were the only ones on the bus, and we started chatting after he saw how awestruck I was. One thing that never gets old being in Japan is the way people react when you use the language competently. I find people are always more willing to tell jokes when they know you’ll understand them.
See ya tomorrow!
POST-SCRIPT: Happy New Year, by the way! Music and photos to follow. Internet’s a little dodgy for uploadin’ right now.
Dan in Japan 